#i wanted to make a smol short comic. just a sketch one

[viperra1]

a fleeting dream - of something, somewhere

boone and the courier share a cigarette! and flashbacks of previous genocides!! yay?

the following section may content lonesome road dlc spoilers, so beware!

vulture does not remember and would never remember what his life was pre-ghoulification. he does not remember how he looked like, or if there's any family waiting for him somewhere. he only learns that he's not 200 years old or smth late in the game (around arcade's personal quest or around the time when the player goes to jacobstown chronologically. i think that doctor henry will be able to tell a thing like that)

he ghoulified when the Divide happened - ulysses was helped by the bots, and the courier just... survived. absorbed the radiation and, by some miracle, haven't turned into one of the marked men. if he reminds you of them, that's why - he was really, really close to becoming one

i plan on retelling the story of the lonesome road from vulture's perspective, because he and ulysses have...... an interesting dynamic. vulture is the one who destroyed ulysses' future, and ulysses is the only one who can tell vulture about his past.

[lovelywingsart]

//AU// Final Revelations

-- Karl Heisenberg X OC (AFAB, She/They) --

This one is a lil short but I finally had the mental power to work on and edit... Maybe not the best, but I like it more than others!

Also: If you've read my updates before, that means yes- this is actually the 'final' written story until I start on the new sketch comic which will be the actual fight itself and takes place after this! It will be a monumental task and we'll see how long it takes me ALSKDJSAS-

Anyway, enjoy a smol chapter update!

**Remember, check out the Masterlist for more!**

-----

Warnings?: Mention of lies with explanation(and what those lies were), mild hostility, not much else???

Summary: The time has come, and meeting with the other current survivors is necessary... But so is confessing.

The sound of crumbling ground and curling mold was everywhere, filling what had once been a deafening silence after screams and gunfire. Long black tendrils covered the fields and houses, with Lycans running amok and even dying by the vary substance that created them as it erupted at random and impaled the poor creatures that ran over it. Emelia scurried her way through to a small clearing on the outskirts of the village itself, her chest heaving with occasional snarls and screeching at the creatures if they crossed her. She barked orders at the creatures in their own tongue to make them move, not slowing her own movements for a moment.

She had to hurry... She had left the now empty scrap metal heap left in the field of the factory once her family was safe, listening to the other sounds around her. ANY other sounds that weren't the ones that filled the air. Anything that could tell her where the rest of the small group of mutants remained.

She had ordered her son and partner to run. To go back to their hidden home. They HAD to run. The boy was far too young to fight, and his father... Her throat tightened as she heard frantic speaking above the mold as she neared the smallest clearing. His father had died once already. The man was worse for wear, barely walking by himself with the mangled prosthetic he managed to pull with him at the last second.

He was angry... He was PISSED. Pissed he wasn't able to fight like he wanted to, like he planned for years on doing. It stung him worse than being murdered by the very one those plans were for, but even he knew he had no choice with the state he was in. And so the two boys ran to a place the parents had only discussed while she chose to fight, a decision that even she wondered was for the best now- but she still had work to do. She made it known.

She came to a sudden, choked halt as she finally caught sight of the group she had left to meet, first noticing the now frazzled, once-white dress of Alcina. Her gaze moved between the remaining three Lords, her heart beating out of her chest with an angry anxiety as if finally settled on the one who brought them together-

Winters.

Ethan Winters.

The man who had beaten her partner close to death. The man who, despite having turned the other Lords against the common enemy they all were about to face with some mild reasoning, decided to look for their son and fight them both without speaking a goddamn word about it until the end. No, to him, Heisenberg was simply a threat, and so was she by extension until she had tobeg for her life- beg for her boys lives. It was his actions that weakened Heisenberg. That weakened HER. He didn't ask questions, he just moved, doing what they thought was trying to take their son. He didn't listen until the last moments, and it made her blood boil. Sure, he may not have known, but a simple question would have left them all fine...

But even then, despite all that, her rage towards him couldn't help but slowly trickle away into a small anger. She knew why he did what he did. And his simple reasoning was something even she couldn't argue with, even if it had caused them this pain that could have been so, so much worse.

She only started moving towards the group once more as the sounds of the mold grew, breaking her from her thoughts and forcing them to the back of her mind as she wiped away the last of the tears that had fallen without her noticing.

Donna had been the first to notice as she approached, her head snapping up with the sound of her footsteps as the Angie began to squirm in her grip.

"EMELIA!!!" She screeched, nearly hopping out of the woman's arms once the grip was loosened. Emelia flinched as all attention was suddenly on her as Angie darted towards her, and she kneeled to meet the doll in a light embrace before picking her up.

"We... We didn't think you'd make it..." the woman said quietly, her voice wavering from a mix of anxiety and fear as Moreau suddenly scuttled forward to follow the doll.

"Oh Emmy, where were you?? Are you ok???" The man said, instantly grabbing her other hand as Angie clung to her shoulders. The poor thing was almost as beaten as Karl, but he was still standing even with the green-ish red blood that covered his back and face. She managed a small smile to reassure him.

"I'm... I'm alright... I'm here." she said. She then looked up at Alcina, who's face had twisted into a strange mix of relief and confusion. "Where are the girls...?"

"With Duke." The woman said simply, though there was a clear amount of worry that appeared more on her face. "I only trust they will be safe with him, as much as I would like them to stay home..."

Emelia nodded.

"Good... Good. He knows where to go. Even I can promise they will be safe and away from this mess." She assured, and the tall woman seemed to let out a breath of full relief. She then looked to the side as she heard footsteps approach closer, only to see the stunned face of Ethan as he limped towards them.

"You..." he said, his own voice a mixture of confusion and caution. "I thought you said-"

"Save it, you bloody prick." She growled lowly. "I have a job to do, and you won't stop me from doing it..."

The other Lords were silent as she glared at him lightly, and he lifted his hands slowly in a surrendering motion while taking a step back.

"I won't. You made your point before." He spoke simply, and she nodded.

"Good..."

Her tone eased slightly as Donna approached on her other side for Angie. Alcina was the first to speak, her now suspicious gaze flicking between her and Winters.

"And, dare I ask... Where is that buffoon? Heisenberg?" She asked, the corner of her mouth twitching as Emelia flinched and Ethan began to speak.

"He's-"

"He's resting." Emelia interrupted quickly, glaring at him again with a silent warning. Another look of confusion entered the mans beaten features.

"But I saw him, he-"

"Leave it, you ignorant wanker." She snarled. "He is resting from his injuries that you had no help in. He's fine."

"But he was dead!!"

The words tumbled out of Ethans mouth before he could stop them despite the clear warning tone in her voice, and a sudden dead silence fell over them. The trio of Lords looked at him as Emelias face went slightly pale.

"D-... Dead...?" Donna nearly whispered, her voice that of mild horror as she stared at him with a wide eye. Ethan shook his head almost frantically, looking to Emelia with his own pale jolt.

"I-... It wasn't me who killed him...!! It was Miranda-"

"But you beat him to the point of weakness even more severe than them!! You LET him die by her hands!!" Emelia growled, her lip curling just slightly. She took an angry step towards him, feeling that small rage bubble up once more. "Had you listened to us, had you even bloody ASKED, he'd be HERE right now instead of-"

"Thats enough!!" Alcina raised her voice suddenly, causing the five heads to turn to her. She turned to Emelia. "If Winters claims he is dead, than how is he alive, according to you?" She asked, and her face fell immediately. "Not that I'd completely believe a man-thing, but he's managed to convince us all of his motives thus far, even by... questionable means..."

"I saw Miranda kill him...!" Ethan said, looking back at Emelia as well, who now looked mildly uncomfortable. "She tore him apart before she got to me. How the fuck is he still alive??"

More silence. All eyes were on her now, and an explanation for the given situation all but demanded simply by looks alone. She looked at them one by one, feeling her breaths become quick and panicked as her mind raced... and then her gaze fell upon Moreau.

Moreau, the only one who had known all those years ago, told a lie to save their skins. Moreau, the one who she knew would have kept the secret, who would have helped them if he could, chased off by anxieties and fear.

Moreau, the one she knew would be the most hurt if she told them all the truth now given the circumstances... but she had to.

She had no choice now.

She shook her head, taking a shaky breath and reaching to rub the back of her neck.

"He was... revived." She said finally, her voice quiet with a nervous tremble. She was met by silence once more, followed immediately by confusion.

"What do you mean 'revived'??" Ethan said, and she frowned.

"I mean exactly that." She spoke, attempting to regain what little confidence she had but failing. She froze as Moreau squeezed her hand.

"Revived... how??" The fish man asked, and she swallowed hard. She stared at the ground for a moment in attempt to think, only finally looking at him with a sad smile.

"By our son." She admitted quietly.

Ethan stared at her, slowly putting the pieces together in his head and the realization settling in his features.

"Wait, you mean... that kid in the factory...? Heisenbergs kid?" Ethan asked, his eyes widening. "You're his..."

"Yes, you bloody idiot. Who else would I have been speaking of when I begged for our bloody lives??" She snapped, only calming down as the fish Lord jumped next to her. She glanced at her friend briefly before returning to the man, keeping her gaze on Ethan hard, but steady. She watched as his face fell, and he took a step back. A small gasp was heard from Donna, and Alcinas brows raised. But she turned her gaze to Moreau, who's confusion grew almost exponentially as he listened.

"He is resting alongside Karl, as he should be..." Her voice suddenly dropped, a proud, calm expression on her face as she lifted her chin. "His power is greater than ours. More potent, even without a Cadou, though we are unsure how... Potent enough to save his father and still stand. He is far more capable than the two of us combined, but he's only a child... We won't let him fight."

"You had another baby??" Moreau asked suddenly, making her flinch while followed by a disbelieving scoff from Alcina.

"'Another'?!" The tall woman said, and the dollmaker whimpered.

"... There was... a first...?" She said quietly, as if events from years prior were suddenly clicking on her mind. Alcina crossed her arms.

"And when would we have learned of this information?!"

Emelia shook her head, waving her off just slightly.

"N-No, no... He isn't 'another', he was the only one... I..." she tried, feeling their eyes burn into her skin. She attempted to find the words, only to sigh and let her hand fall from Moreaus grip. She went quiet, her gaze falling to the ground once more.

"... I lied, Salvatore..." She whispered finally, heavy guilt evident in her voice as the confused- and now somewhat betrayed- stares made an unpleasant chill race up her spine. "I lied when I told you it was gone..."

He stared at her.

"... what...?"

The small squeak in his voice made her flinch.

"It wasn't my idea, and I regretted it every bloody day afterwards... Hated myself for it for years." she continued, looking up at him again to see a nearly hurt expression in the mans face. Fuck... "It was Karls suggestion, but... I agreed to it out of fear, even though I questioned it." She frowned. "I didn't want to lie to you, Sal... But we had to make sure she didn't find out. Every precaution had to have been taken to get this chance, to make sure she didn't rip it from me... And I listened to him."

"... I wouldn't have told her..." the man replied quietly, taking another step back. "I promised..."

"I... I-I know, Sal... I know, and I'm sorry..."she tried, kneeling down just slightly to stay level with him. "But she would have gotten suspicious if I continued to go to you, or bloody god forbid Heisenberg let you in often to check on me..." her voice was torn, that of regret and apology. "She would have known the moment she saw me... I couldn't have even gone to the surface and risk one of her damned birds catching that scent... Even the Lycans would have been tailing me."

The man was silent as she spoke, but nodded slowly as he let her words seep in. It seemed like he understood, but the hurt in his mangled face still sent a massive wave of guilt through her chest, amplifying it completely.

"It's not your fault, Sal. It was different than the shifting of Cadou effects..." she tried, earning another round of confused stares from the other two women. "I could hide that... Hell, I still can. But I couldn't hide the pregnancy... It changed me far too much, far too quickly. She would have known if she saw me a month later after we found out, and we couldn't risk anything... I didn't want to lose a chance at what I wanted for so long due to her selfish needs. I didn't want her destroying this chance like she had so many times before."

Her voice remained quiet as she spoke, the attention still causing shivers... But Moreau soon nodded, shifting slightly on his feet.

"I understand..." the fish Lord muttered, putting his hands together and fiddling with his fingers. He was quiet again before looking at her with the smallest spark of hope in the dark sea gaze. "What's his name...?"

He seemed to relax as she gave a warm smile.

"Adalwulf." She replied quietly. "He's 10 now... He was born healthy, and he's all I could have ever wanted."

"Adalwulf..." the man tried, struggling slightly with the name, but managing well. He seemed to ponder a moment before he managed a small smile and nodded. "I like that name..."

Emelia gave a quiet chuckle.

"He reminds me of his father, in the best possible way... he's a fine young man already." She held out her hand for him, relieved as he did the same. She held it tightly. "He's a kind boy... Always has been since he could walk and speak. I would love for you to finally meet him after this... I talk about all of you quite a bit."

Moreau opened his mouth to speak with a small growing excitement, but stopped as a small rumbling was heard. The group was startled as yet another mass of black mold tendrils erupted from the ground beside them, and Ethan cleared his throat.

"Look, I'm sorry to interrupt..." H started, gesturing to them. "This is... nice and all... But we need to hurry. I need to get my daughter back..." He looked at Emelia, "And you have a kid to raise."

She went quiet, but nodded as her demeanor changed almost instantly. Her expression hardened and she felt her parasite squirm in her chest, making her arm tremble just slightly in an oddly excited anticipation.

"And Miranda needs to die." She growled. Ethan nodded.

"At least we can still agree on something..." He muttered, simply looking at the other Lords. "We need a plan, and we need one quick..."

They looked at each other, their minds clearly working. Alcina frowned.

"We mustn't go in recklessly." She said. "Even I know she is powerful, even more so when desperate."

Ethan nodded.

"I got that..." he sighed, looking at the mold. "Any suggestions?"

There was silence for a moment as Emelia walked to him, joining his side as she examined the tendrils surrounding them. It only took her a few moments until something clicked, and she suddenly turned to them.

"I have an idea..." She said, earning looks once more. "It'll sound mad, and it's of the utmost importance that we're all careful... especially us." She looked at the three Lords before them as well as gesturing to herself. "But it may be insane enough to work."

Ethan looked between them, though nodded as they huddled together once more.

"Alright then. Let's hear it."

[one-piece-dumpster-fire]

QueennNnn!! Your art isn't awful! Its friggin beautiful and you can't change my mind!!💖💖💖💖💖 Also, while I'm sending an ask, can I have some more information about your adorable babies👀👀 (I wanna make more drawings for them uwu💕)

Ahhhh alrighty alrighty, I’m not gonna argue with you sweetie hehe😂💖! I’m just,,, super happy that you all like my art so much huhuhu, and thank you for always being such a dear to me💖💖💖!!!

AahhaAAAAh, about the babies—-🙈🌠💖! I’d be absolutely honored and delighted to tell you more about them!!! I don’t know if I should put this under a cut or not though because…. phew…. it’s gonna be a bit long xD (and I also don’t have any good drawings left of them and unfortunately need to use some terrible old sketches because??? I don’t draw our children often enough??? Pffff that still needs to change💕)

here’s a warning for me being indulgent and swooning over my Crachelle babies up ahead xD!

——–

Trifle

She’s a true Daddy’s girl through and through xD Her hair color is actually a very light pink but with slightly purple undertones, basically a mix of Angel’s and Big Mom’s hair- aaaand she got my bright, blue eyes😂 Trifle is a very open-hearted and kind girl, although she tends to be a bit too dreamy sometimes! Her father is her ultimate hero and she wants to be just like him while growing up. Many of her clothes are actually mirroring that as well, and she even started to put a special kind of fire-crackers into her hair to further showcase her close bound with Papa Cracker lol. Unfortunately though… she never really knows what she actually wants and is more than once lost in her own little fantasies, which can occasionally come to bite her. Flambe is Trifle’s favorite aunt and often helps her when she’s dealing with yet another girl crush again huhu xDD

Fun fact: when she was little she used to plant ‘magic seeds’ (rocks) in our garden, hoping that they would grow to give her a little sister someday. (yes, Cracker and I really regret watching Thumbelina with her)

Pretzel

Although Trifle tries to imitate her Papa as good as possible, it’s actually Pretzel who is stuck with resembling Cracker the most- but only appearance-wise! As you can probably tell, he’s the spitting image of his dad… minus the lack of eyebrows and some other little details haha xD Pretzel is a bit of a shy boy who tends to overthink certain things and often has some difficulties with making new friends- but once someone spends a bit of time with him, he truly thaws up to be one of the coolest people around! His relationship with his father is rather strained, mostly because Cracker has many high expectations for his oldest son, and if he doesn’t live up to them…. well, things can get a bit problematic xd Pretzel also got a hearing problem and communication is a little difficult, but he’s always doing his best to let people know about how he feels! His favorite uncle is Oven, who often helps him with training and getting stronger.

Fun fact: Pretzel actually dislikes his name. A lot. The fact that he was basically named after a sword constantly haunts him, even if he tries not to think about it lol

Eclair/Anne

Nothing about her ever stays the same for long, since Eclair is a true free spirit! Her natural hair color is a rich brown with some lilac undertones, but it can be rather hard to tell because she loves to change it on an almost monthly basis! Out of all the siblings she’s probably the smartest and most cunning, and always knows just how to get her way xD Eclair often pretends to be naive or even somewhat stupid so people will leave her alone or to avoid certain duties lol, but depending on the situation she might actually show her true colors to help those that are dear to her! She prefers to do things that bring her fun or pleasure rather than strict chores, and one of her favorite hobbies is painting pictures to express herself! She’s the anti-social bee of the family, although her parents often nudge her to be a bit more open and find friends xD Her favorite uncle is Mont-d’Or and she also enjoys spending time with Amande, since they can both understand her more introvert behaviour and love for artistic outlets!

Fun fact: she’s actually a bit short-sighed and supposed to wear glasses, but she never does! And if her parents were to ask her about it, she’ll simply respond and say that she ‘lost’ them again lol

Dodger

Did you ever ask yourself… ‘what if there was a kid that’s basically just like Cracker, only 100 times worse?’ no? Well too bad, because that is exactly what you’re getting with Dodger! Oh boy, where to start… as far as appearance goes, he’s a pretty solid mix of his parents- his hair is similar to mine (only more wild and spikey) while his eyes and face resemble his father. But his personality is just…. too much to handle for the both of us! Dodger is truly the definition of ‘troublemaker’, as there is not a single day where he doesn’t get caught up in some drama! He’s an unstoppable bundle of energy and keeps his good traits hidden for most of the time, since it’s soooo much more fun to just get on people’s nerves xD To make matters worse, he also has a deep love for stabbing things. Mostly inanimate objects though, but still!!! Best be careful around him! Other than that, he actually dreams of becoming strong and powerful like his Papa, and sometimes sneaks into the Seducing Woods to train his ‘intimidation tactic’ on some unsuspecting homies. (He basically wants to be able to make them wither away in fear, similiar to what Cracker did xD) His favorite aunt is Angel, whom he always plots new pranks with!

Fun Fact: His relationship with his Pa is pretty good, but there was one incident that left Dodger slightly fearful of him…

Last but not least, Cherry!

Cherry is,,, the currently reigning baby of the family- she’s just,,, hhh,,, so tiny and precious ;^; With her big ruby eyes and bubblegum-pink hair she really looks like a wildcard, but there is at least one physical similarity she shares with her father- the lack of eyebrows xD Cherry loves her parents more than anything (and tbh gets a bit coddled by us too), but that doesn’t mean she won’t get into trouble! She’s an adventurer at heart and likes nothing more than to run into a forest, befriend some random animals, and discover new things! Together with her pet bunny Bun Bun she’s ready to take on any adventure, and of course, be home again by dinnertime! 

Fun fact: when she was still a very smol baby, her older brother Dodger once tried to ship her off to an orphanage because her babbling/crying was too loud lol

in conclusion: I love my babies very much, thank you xD And I definitely need to draw them more often!!! hhhHHh there are a few small comics I’m already working on but psssssttt xD Also I’m really sorry for the bad sketches on this one, I just don’t have enough good pictures aaahh

[identityexcavationstation]

The High Fidelity Remake is Good and my Identity is Irreversibly Linked to Music Consumption

Hi! So, I’m kinda insane about playlists.

This year I’ve made a lot of them. They’ve been short and snappy on index cards, scanned and pasted in a book and uploaded to the internet. (I’ve really fallen in love with index card playlists and they’re my thing now and I think everyone should do them always and forever.) They were easy to churn out as a retrospective exercise because the music I listened to as a teenager really defined my high school experience. Also, I have most of my favorite songs from that period in a very dramatic playlist I started in 2014 so it was really a game of copy-and-paste. 

Making these smol boys in batches has been a really peculiar experience because for years now, I’ve only made one playlist at a time. In my second semester of college, I’d officially burned myself out listening to only CHVRCHES for three months and began venturing elsewhere. (Don’t get me wrong, CHVRCHES absolutely bangs, but you can only listen to “Never Ending Circles” so many times before getting seasick.) All of the random songs I was listening to made me feel kinda hazy and purple, like I’d done all of this before. So I made a playlist full of them and called it “Deja Vu.”

I added to it all semester, and then suddenly it was summer and I didn’t feel purple and hazy anymore⁠—everything was blue and crisp on the way to South Haven as my friend blasted “Settle Down” by Kimbra in her beat-up Honda. So I started a new playlist and named it the first word that popped into my head: “Roots.”

Using Deja Vu as a rubric, I developed some ground rules for the playlists I would go on to create. They are pretty nonsensical but also exceedingly firm because if I don’t make rules for every area of my life I feel like I’m falling into a deep and limitless void. Health! Anyway, the rules are:

The playlist’s title has to be a short noun (seven letters maximum).

This has since transformed into a noun that is also a verb.

To generate a title, I ask myself what short word I would use to describe the phase of life I’m currently in. The answer comes quickly and reflexively, and I choose the very first word I think of.

One song per artist, no repeats!

Exceptions are made for artists who are featured on a track.

There have been times when I’ve obsessively listened to a whole album or an artist’s entire discography, so I have to choose just one song that represents the very best of that album or artist.

Tracks are added chronologically, based on when I first hear them and/or start listening to them compulsively.

The playlist has to contain an amount of tracks that is divisible by five.

If a song in a playlist is deleted from Spotify, I have to find a replacement asap that is accurate to what I was listening to when that playlist was being created.

and, most importantly, 

I can’t make a new playlist until I feel I’m finished with the current one.

These playlists represent seasons of my life, cycles in which I change and evolve and stagnate and fuck up and try again. The only rule I have for beginning a new playlist is that I feel done with the current one—those songs are a little stale and don’t represent me anymore. These “seasons” don’t have any set length, and I can never predict when I’ll feel like a new being who needs new songs to define her. So far, my life has looked like this:

Deja Vu - 176 days (12.03.16 - 05.28.17) Most common lyrics: now, love, time, need, take

snow that covers ivy that covers bricks, towers made from dining hall dishes, smiling at the bus stop without knowing, sheet masks in the dorm bathroom at 2am, pink string lights and pink crocheted blankets and pink shag carpeting, cheap beer behind tarps and walking everyone home

Roots - 111 days (05.28.17 - 09.16.17)  Most common lyrics: love, one, give, wanna, know

t-shirt tan lines, mozzarella and tomato and basil and singed spaghetti, sunset walks around abandoned high schools, green leaves outlined in watercolor, the smell of mildew and old paper in banker’s boxes, sweat-soaked french braids, the knife twist of eye contact, tarot readings under lamplight

Walls - 110 days (09.16.17 - 01.04.18)   Most common lyrics: wanna, know, baby, take, feel

crying in the gender-neutral restroom, pretty boys holding guitars or rolling rock, photos in the forest, blue carpeting and lofted bedframes, pitch-black bonfires, sitting in the dining hall to just watch the people pass, snow on eyelashes in large wet clumps, laughing at lies

Bite - 78 days (01.04.18 - 03.23.18)    Most common lyrics: know, love, stay, come, need

impatience at the airport, texting on the laundry room floor, nervous night drives, five grilled cheese sandwiches, acne like freckles, ceiling photos taken in secret, watercolor lines and paper houses, broken glass on the sidewalk, ink-stained forearms, notebook paper comics, writing small on basement walls

Windows - 131 days (03.23.18 - 08.01.18)   Most common lyrics: love, now, know, baby, fall

books piled up by the bed, rum and coke and orange juice and vodka and cheap white wine, rainy day night walks, streetlights turning the leaves orange, echoes from the party upstairs, solo trips to the grocery store, always leaving the blinds open, aperol and chai lattes and smørrebrød, never coming home

Grip - 136 days (08.01.18 - 12.15.18)    Most common lyrics: know, boy, lost, girl, night

read receipts, the creaking of an empty house, sand and bricks and traffic cones, sitting on the curb and shaking, applause at dinner, bubble tea, bike rides in torn jeans, mr brightside blasting at 10am, doodles during lectures, embroidery at the kitchen table, blue bus panic attacks, half an apple for lunch

Wait - 117 days (12.15.18 - 04.11.19)  Most common lyrics: heart, want, one, back, know

crying in the lobby, measuring oats by the quarter cup, drunken voice memos, shoes on power lines, another bowl of granola, reading all the lyrics, photos taken with the flash on, sleeping on strange couches, shoeboxes full of photographs, wire catching the sunlight, fifteen minutes of windchill

Wave - 108 days (04.11.19 - 07.28.19)  Most common lyrics: wanna, know, now, love, come

dancing on the porch, reading on the roof, tipsy trips to the corner store, silent heavy parlor air, chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting, barred windows and string lights and exit signs, highlighting the important parts, nails tapping on wooden tables, wet wind before the storm, biking straight into the smoke

Home - 178 days (07.28.19 - 01.22.20)   Most common lyrics: down, know, now, wanna, think

steep downhill walks, fingertips covered in graphite and lead, blank faces on green walls, forest walkways, hands gripping thighs too tightly, light leaks in darkrooms, the handwriting of strangers, chains trapped between teeth, white words left unread, twirling at the tennis court, yellow becoming blue

Hand - 63 days (01.22.20 - 03.25.20)   Most common lyrics: know, time, love, die, back

masking tape messages, laughing four shots in, BiC .07mm HB mechanical pencils slipped into coat cuffs, cheeks blushed with red ink, green floodlights and kissed knuckles, windows fogged from the inside, falling asleep with earbuds in, finger guns and everything in boxes, wedging open locked doors

_______________________________________________________________________

It’s interesting to look back at these playlists altogether, see them as self-contained units, little stories I tell about myself, about the people I used to be. Adding a song to one of these playlists was like making a vow, entering a relationship with a collection of sounds. It’s like I was saying “this song is now a part of me.” I constructed this little world for myself in the space between my ears, and it, in turn, created me.

I really mean it when I say that the first word that floats to the front of my mind becomes the title of whatever playlist I’m making. I never question what the word means, and its meaning always ends up describing that season of my life. 

“Roots” became a period of reconnecting with essential pieces of myself I thought I had abandoned. 

During “Grip,” I was holding on so tightly to things that had left me ages ago, and I think I knew that, even if I was unable to admit it to myself. 

“Wait” revealed itself in two ways: it was a time in which 1.) I felt stagnant and restless, unable to be patient, and 2.) I was forced to grasp with a physical and emotional weight that had been bearing down on me. 

The mind is a magical thing—it processes what we refuse to recognize. 

Speaking of which, these playlist covers have been driving me up the wall for ages. They’re like nails on a freaking chalkboard for my synesthesia. Is “Bite” a heavily blue playlist? Sure. But is “Home” purple? Is “Grip” pink??? I think the fuck not! 

(I could do a whole goddamn blog post on synesthesia, and I might.)

Now that I know how to switch out playlist cover art (can you believe it’s taken me this long to figure out how to do that?), I have decided to issue myself a challenge/project/way to procrastinate actual work I have to do. 

I’d like to make a piece of cover art for all of the above playlists. And because I am, to reiterate, insane, I’m setting up some Rules For Creation:

All works must be the same size, on the same type of paper using similar materials (tbd but probably graphite, colored pencil, watercolor, fineliners, and/or collage).

The preliminary sketch for each cover must be created while listening to the playlist.

Each piece can (must?) incorporate the five most common lyrics as listed above because goddammit I did not spend four hours compiling lyrics in a web-based word cloud generator for nothing.

If I’m not having fun, I won’t make myself do it because this is literally just for laffs. 

Anyway, I’m looking forward to creating some fun weird art! I know nobody is gonna read this and nobody is gonna comment but if, by some miracle, you feel like it, comment a playlist you’ve made that you’re really proud of! Or comment if you have some weird playlist rules! Or cyberbully me! Anything’s fair game. 

TL;DR playlists are fun and I’m a maniac :)

[cloudywondrous]

Original concept arts of Cloudy Wondrous from February 2016!

I had a lot of stuff to say but since it’s not that interesting I’m gonna leave it all under the cut tho but yeah, ENJOY

So...! Oh boy where do I start with this

When I originally started creating Cloudy as a whole, all I had was the idea of a magical girl whose mascot-fairy-thing was a dog that looked like a cloud. I had a vague idea on what I wanted Barkinson to be like, but nothing on what I was going to do with Cloudy herself.

So while my main problem with Barkinson was figuring out how to draw them (frankly speaking I still have no idea how to draw dogs), Cloudy I had no clue what to do with. I had yet to decide what her personality, interests, backstory etc really were. That is why her earlier concept arts look so weird— I just had no idea what kind of a character I was trying to create (mainly because this whole comic started out as a joke that got out of hand lol).

In hindsight I could say I took kind of a deconstructionist-attitude when trying to figure out what Cloudy should look like. On one hand I wanted her to kind of look like a generic magical girl, being pretty and having this princess-y look to her— I wanted to be sure that anyone who looks at her will immidiately be like “oh, that’s a magical girl”.    But at the same time, I didn’t want her to look like a cheap Sailor Moon, Precure or Madoka knock-off. I never really wanted to give her a huge bow with a brooch on it, I didn’t really want to give her bows in general, and I did want to avoid the more generic motifs like hearts, stars and moons as much as I could. I didn’t want to give her the typical magic staff, stick or any generic weapon either, so somehow I ended up going with an umberella instead...

Also her theme color is a baby blue; obviously the more common theme color for the protagonist in magical girl shows is pink or red, but in this instance I wasn’t trying to go against magical girl tropes or anything. I picked light blue because Cloudy’s mascot was a cloud, clouds are white, clouds are associated with the sky and the sky is blue. That’s literally how Cloudy’s colorscheme was created.

But yeah, as much as I wanted to avoid some kind of tropey magical girl elements, I did still end up giving into some of them (mainly the bow with brooch thing but in my defence it’s a smol bow, not a huge one that covers her whole chest area).

Aside from that I don’t really have much to say about the early iterations of Cloudy Wondrous... I do remember early-on being very hellbent on Cloudy’s costume having a hood of somekind but since I couldn’t figure out how to make it look right (because I was also hellbent on giving her a crown) I abandoned that idea. I also ended up wanting to be sure that Cloudy’s costume wasn’t like... Not sure what to call it, fanservice-bait-y? Whatever, point is, this is why Cloudy ended up with that dark blue fullbody suit (which I’ve made darker and greyer later on).

But yeah, after some attempts at designing Cloudy I ended up liking one enough to try and refine it a little bit more; this is where we get to the original design. It’s almost identical to the finalized one, the only differences being the colorscheme, the boots and the gloves— those things got changed because I wasn’t quite satisfied or happy with them.

When I first started sketching out pages for the first chapter (originally just a one-shot), I actually used the original design. It was only after I was like half-way through sketching the thing that I decided I had to re-adjust Cloudy’s design. The long boots and gloves just didn’t feel right to me...

Ironically, her finalized shoes and gloves didn’t feel right back when I got the finalized design done, and they still don’t either. But I ended up just rolling with it because I don’t think I’m good enough at character design to truly figure out what’s wrong so that I can fix it. I’m not there yet. Maybe one day I can give Cloudy a proper redesign in the story, but for now, this’ll have to do.

Oh, and I think at some point I was going to name her Cloudy Miraculous, but to avoid sounding too much like a certain Ladybug I went with Wondrous instead. It sounds better too.

Oh, and I had no idea how to name Barkinson. I knew I wanted a punny dog-name but like, the best I could come up with was “Woofsie” (woof+oopsie). So I ended up asking for help from a dear friend, and they came up with “Barkinson the Third”. I loved it, added “Wonderwolf” in it and rolled with it. (Although, I was concerned “Barkinson” would be kind of a long name so I was seriously considdering having Neph call them just “Won” for short, but ended up deciding against it after enough time)

[fvkpaige]

just dropping this here !!

heyo, friends !! my name’s bee, and my smol angry bean’s name is paige. i’m eighteen years old, use the pronouns she / her / hers and live in the eastern standard timezone !! i should start my philosophy paper, but what the hey… descartes can wait. 

so, boy, oh boy, paige is complicated af, so you better watch out. to be honest, i’m still fleshing her out a little bit because character development is definitely my thing, but this is what i’ve got so far –

paige was taken away from her mother when she was four years old ;; her dad was never in the picture. truth be told, paige doesn’t remember much about her mom ;; she just remembers that it was a very chaotic and scary environment. her mom suffered from ( undiagnosed ) mental illness, was an alcoholic and could never make rent, and it just wasn’t a safe environment for a little girl to live in. it definitely rubbed off on paige, though. 

for a short period of time, she lived with her grandmother, who she loved dearly. ( in paige’s opinion, her grandmother is the only person who’s ever loved her. ) however, after her grandmother died from breast cancer when she was seven, she ended up being passed around within the system.  

it was when she was put in her first foster home that paige began to have problems. she would always act out and was extremely aggressive, so she spent several years in and out of various homes. no one wanted to put up with her and her antics, and paige had no access to counseling or help in many of the homes she was placed in. she just let the anger, and the fear, and the anxiety boil over – it was the only way she knew how to cope. 

the hayes family has recognized that paige desperately needs help and she is now undergoing therapy. she’s been formally diagnosed with anxiety, bipolar depression and ptsd. however, after so many years of learning how to cope with it on her own, albeit in an extremely unhealthy way, paige is extremely resistant to her medication and treatment.  

paige loves trouble. she’s always getting into it. she drinks, she parties, she smokes, she hooks up, she’s a bit of a wild child. paige won’t let anything or anyone hold her down – or, at least, that’s what she claims. ( it’s just that no one’s ever tried hard enough to get through. )  

however, deep inside, paige is really hurting. she doesn’t show it, and she definitely puts up a tough front, but it hurts. she’s desperate for acceptance, to find her place in the world. being a girl of mixed-race ( filipino mother, presumably white father ) certainly doesn’t help her case, and she’s always struggled to find her identity. underneath her biting words, there’s a little girl who just wants someone to care. 

she’s incredibly artistic and extremely talented, both visually and musically. drawing, sketching, painting, singing, dancing, playing the guitar and piano… she expresses herself through her art, and it’s really quite beautiful, even though it’s her pain that often comes out in her work. 

also, she's secretly a huge freakin' nerd !! she loves comic books, and superheroes, and star wars, and old movies... she doesn't show this side to everyone, but holy shit, bring up star wars or superheroes and she will stay by your side. 

paige is definitely not okay.

and that’s what i’ve got !! wow, that’s a lot. i’d love to plot with all of you lovelies ;; feel free to hit me up on im !! i'm looking for all the plots and all the connections, tbh. i’m going to try to start that dumb philosophy paper… but i’ll be replying to starters and stuff here and there and i’m definitely online for the rest of the night.